


Tide's Turn

by wildknees



Series: At Swim [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-01
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 06:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/949869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildknees/pseuds/wildknees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been over a year since Loras arrived at Storm's End to squire for Renly and he's starting to realize that his feelings for his lord are more than friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the sequel to my story Eyes Like The Sea! It's not necessary to read that one first but certain things will make more sense. This story picks up about a year after Eyes Like The Sea ends.

The heavy rains in the Stormlands hindered the travels of the party from Storm’s End and already it seemed that their arrival at King’s Landing would be delayed. Traveling in this weather was a dreadful experience, with the high waters and sucking mud slowing the horses and carts while the rain damped the clothes and spirits of everyone involved. Pouring torrents of rain soaked them to the bone all through the day, and as night fell the rain only picked up stronger.

But though the heavy rain continued to beat down outside, it was warm and dry in the inn their party had stopped at for the night. A hot meal and a hot bath did wonders for forgetting the miseries of the day. The thunder still rolled but a fire crackled merrily in the hearth, and Renly had even found a cyvasse board that now sat on the bed between them. He let out a defeated sigh as Loras’ Dragon took his King, again.

“Why was it that you taught me to play this game again?” Loras goaded.

“You know why,” Renly grumbled.

“Oh, I do. I just want to hear you say it.”

“‘To teach you how to lose gracefully’,” Renly admitted, and Loras laughed. Despite his lack of experience, Loras had not yet lost a game, and he took great pleasure in rubbing it in Renly’s face. Renly would play along, putting on an act of exasperation even though he cared little whether he won or lost, and they’d have great fun bickering and teasing each other over it.

Today it was not so. Renly did not carry on the playful banter, nor did he start rearranging the pieces so they could play another game. Instead he settled back against the pillows as if he was ready to turn in for the night.

“Do you want to play another game?” Loras asked him. It was not terribly late and Renly never refused a game of cyvasse, but he only shrugged.

“Not now,” he answered.

He gazed out the dark window, watching the firelight play on the raindrops running down the panes. Loras did not like seeing such a far off, almost sad look on his face. It was not like Renly to be so down. “What’s wrong?” Loras asked as he stretched out on the bed beside Renly.

Renly continued watching the glittering raindrops for a few moments, contemplating something, before he turned to Loras.

“It’s only the rain,” he said. “We’re already behind in travelling. We might miss the first day of Robert’s name day tournament.”

Loras sighed, though by now he knew he should have not expected a straightforward answer from Renly about this. As of late he’d noticed that his lord was uncharacteristically subdued, often fretting to himself or sitting alone with a brooding look, but every time Loras asked, Renly said it was nothing or gave some trivial reason, like the rain.

Renly put on a more cheerful smile, evidently looking to change to subject. “Will Garlan be coming to the tourney this year?” he asked.

Loras scoffed as he remembered the last letter Margaery had sent, detailing Garlan’s ridiculous mooning behaviour as of late. “Garlan is _in love._ He doesn’t care about being in a tournament if she’s not there to show off to, so he won’t be leaving Highgarden until she does.”

Renly laughed. “Who’s this lucky girl?”

“A daughter of one of our bannermen, so perhaps they’ll be married.” Loras smirked at the thought. Trust Garlan to fall in love with such a proper match. Loras could not recall having met the girl, but he could easily imagine a proper little lady who was a perfect complement to Garlan’s good courtesy.

“And what of Willas? Is he not married yet?”

Loras shook his head. “Willas has the same problem that you do with marriage.”

A startled look came to Renly’s face and he laughed nervously. “What do you mean?” he asked.

Loras looked at him curiously for a moment. “Willas is the heir to Highgarden. He holds too high of a seat to marry for anything other than an alliance.”

“Ah, that’s true,” Renly agreed, sounding oddly relieved for such a grim prospect. But then the weight of it caught up to him, and his shoulders seemed to sag. For this Loras could not blame him. Women fawned over Renly’s good looks and charm, but with the prospect of none of that having any importance in finding a wife, Loras could see why the thought of marriage seemed unappealing.  

“I don’t want to get married,” Renly confided eventually.

“I wouldn’t either,” Loras agreed.

“Do you, though? Do you want to have your own little Lady Tyrell?”

“No.”

“No?”

Loras shook his head. “I’m joining the Kingsguard.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Renly said, smirking.

“I’m joining the Kingsguard _eventually,_ ” Loras tried again.

It was still not true answer but it seemed to please Renly, and he grinned at Loras. “So you say, but for now you’re still here with me!” Somehow the simple conversation had cheered him up considerably, and he shifted the cyvasse board to start arranging the pieces again. “How about another game before bed?”


	2. Chapter 2

The sun finally peeked through the clouds again as the storms let up, though it was still a day behind schedule when the party from Storm’s End arrived at King’s Landing. It should have meant that they missed the first day of King Robert’s name day tournament, but the heavy rains had not left the capital untouched. The plains outside the city gates looked more like a swamp than tourney grounds and would be unfit for sport for several days. The tournament was delayed as a result, leaving all the entrants and spectators who had traveled for the tournament spending more time in King’s Landing than planned.

It was not a problem for most, but Loras could see that the prospect of an extended stay weighed on Renly. It was odd to think that Renly did not enjoy being in the capital. Surely the bustling court life appealed to him - Loras could easily picture Renly indulging in the parties and feasts, swanning about and winning over every lord and lady with his quick wit and charm, but something swayed him from King’s Landing.

Maybe it was the size of the city, or the stink of it. Or maybe, most likely of all, it was spending too much time around the two brothers who Renly held little love for. From what Loras could tell, Renly did not mind Robert, but Robert grew surly with impatience at the tourney’s delay, drinking heavily throughout the day and loudly complaining of wanting to hit someone. Meanwhile, everyone from Dorne to the Wall knew how charmless Stannis was, and Robert’s increasing unruliness made Stannis grind his teeth so hard that it even gave Loras headache.

Faced with this, Renly disappeared the next day shortly after breaking his fast and did not return to the keep until long after the sun had set. Loras meant to ask where he’d gone when he saw Renly the next morning, but Renly slipped away again before Loras could say anything.  

Loras occupied himself to pass the time, visiting with the bannermen of the Reach who had come for the tourney and practicing in the yard with the squires of the Red Keep, but he found the days lonely and boring without Renly. They spent so much time together in Storm’s End that Loras had never realized how much he missed Renly when he wasn’t there.

“Will you take me with you?” Loras asked on the third day before Renly could slip away again.

For some reason Loras expected Renly to say he was busy, or that he could not bring Loras where he was going, but instead he just grinned and told Loras to go saddle their horses.  

First Renly took him to the Sept of Baelor, and then down the Street of Steel. They walked along the city walls to see the tourney grounds swarming with activity as servants rushed to and fro laying out cartfuls of dry dirt and erected the gallery. As evening fell, they bought fresh fruit and pastries to pass between them as they watched the sunset. The stars were out by the time they finally returned to the Red Keep and Loras fell asleep smiling after one of the most enjoyable days he could remember.

But the next day Renly disappeared again without explanation. It didn’t bother Loras, not really, but he was relieved when word spread that the tourney grounds were ready and the tourney would finally begin the next day.

Renly had beautiful new armor made for the tournament, intricately carved plate painted the shade of green he liked the best. They’d agreed that Loras would help Renly with his armor but would not tend to him on the field, as it proved to be too much running back and forth while Loras was competing as well. Renly had resolved to perform better this year than last, anyway.

“Do you realize it’s been almost a year since we became friends?” Renly commented as Loras finished fastening the buckles of his armor. Loras glanced up at him and smiled.

“It’s been longer than that,” he said.

“Officially, though. It’s your name day tomorrow. That’s one year, isn’t it?”

Loras grinned. “Did you get me a name day present?”

“Of course not,” Renly replied flippantly, making Loras grin wider.

“What is it? A sword? A shield?”

Renly shrugged with feigned innocence, though the unmistakable hint of a grin at the corners of his mouth gave away the lie. “I don’t remember,” he said. 

“I could just go through your things and see for myself, you know.”

Renly was not cowed by the threat and he smirked at Loras. “It’s not with my things. It’s with _your_ things, waiting for you in your tent.”

“I can have it a day early?” Loras asked, eyes widening in excitement.

“I thought you might want to wear it today.” Renly straightened to test his armor, and, finding it suitable, he nodded at Loras. “Go and see, then. Don’t let me keep you here with my reminiscing.”

Despite what he said, Renly called for Loras again before he could leave the tent.

“I just wanted to say, well, thank you.” Renly stepped closer and laid his hand on Loras’ shoulder. “It’s meant so much to have you here with me this past year. I hope we’ll always be friends.”

“Best friends,” Loras assured him.

“Best friends,” Renly agreed, “And more. I’m not sure how to say this…” He paused and rubbed at his neck. “It’s no secret that I’m not close with my brothers. But you, you’re like that brother I never had.” He took Loras’ hand in his own and smiled at him hopefully. “Do you agree? Do you think we’re like real brothers?”

Loras didn’t know quite how to respond. He knew he loved Renly dearly and yet it was not the same as what he felt for his own brothers, though he couldn’t put his finger on where the difference lie.

“Yes,” he said, despite his mixed feelings. It was worth it for the bright, true smile that lit up Renly’s face.

“I’m glad. Truly, Loras, you mean so much to me. I’ve never had anybody like you.”

Loras was embarrassed to feel a blush rising to his cheeks, even though he felt the same. Thankfully Renly did not let him suffer in embarrassment. He opened his arms and Loras stepped forward into the hug. It was never comfortable to hug someone who was dressed in full armor but Loras couldn’t find anything to complain about.

Renly patted his back fondly and drew away from the hug. “Now hurry and go get your own armor on, and see what’s waiting for you.”

“Thank you, Renly.” Loras was vaguely aware that his hands were still lingering at Renly’s waist and it was hard to draw them away but Loras was eager to go see the gift that was waiting for him. With one more smile at Renly, he turned to leave the tent.

As he stepped outside, he bumped head-first into the person about to enter. Loras glanced up to find a man he didn’t recognize peering at him suspiciously.

“Who are you?” the man asked.

 _Who are you?,_ Loras wanted to ask right back. The stranger was dressed in unornamented grey steel that bore no crest. His hair and beard were reddish-blonde, and despite that he appeared to be a man grown and of age with Renly, he was no taller than Loras.

“I’m Lord Renly’s squire,” Loras said instead. He immediately wished he had said something more offensive, as that answer made the suspicion disappear from the man’s face and he smiled at Loras.

“Are you? I heard you’ll be jousting today.”

“Yes,” Loras answered slowly, wondering how this man could have known him. Who was he? Renly had countless friends but this was someone Loras had never seen before.

“Maybe we’ll face each other on the field,” the man said. He gave Loras an amicable pat on the shoulder. “Good luck to you!”

And with that he stepped around Loras and entered Renly’s pavilion. 

Loras almost followed to tell him that he didn’t need luck, but there was no time for that now. The entrants’ parade before the royal gallery would begin shortly and Loras had little time to get into his armor. Grumbling, he sulked off to his own tent.

A page was waiting to armor him, though Loras was immediately drawn to the items laid out on the table. A new cloak with a matching helmet plume were draped next to each other. Both were made of snowy white wool, though they were nothing at all like the plain white of the Kingsguard. Every inch of the fabric was embroidered with flowers of blue and green, a bouquet of ceruleans and jades and teals.

Loras was grinning before he even knew it. He’d long been of the opinion that Renly’s taste in armor and decoration was impeccable, even if his daily choice of clothing was too flamboyant, and this proved his good taste. (Renly insisted that his preferences were just as flamboyant in armor and in clothing, and that it was only that Loras’ taste in armor was just as over the top, but Loras refused to believe it.)

Loras hurried the page through armoring him so that he could attach the plume and cloak and see how they looked. The weight of the fabric gave it such elegance as it draped over his shoulders, swaying behind him as he turned to admire himself in the looking glass. He could hardly look away from his reflection. It was a perfect gift, he thought, and he was immensely pleased that Renly had given it to him a day early.

He caught Renly’s eye as they passed each other on the way to the field. He didn’t have a chance to thank Renly then, though he was sure his grin showed well enough how much he appreciated the gift.

A herald called out each of the entrants’ names as they paraded before the king and queen. Cheers went up as favorites were called, and it pleased Loras how loudly the crowd cheered for Renly. Even Loras’ name brought a cheer – he’d not been to King’s Landing since the king’s last name day tournament, but it seemed his dazzling performance had not been forgotten.

Loras paid particular attention to the names as they moved down the line towards the knight who had been entering Renly’s tent. He was Ser Oryn Shieldsmith, the son of some insignificant Riverlands lordling, and his banner displayed a yellow shield and hammer on a blue field. _How terribly original,_ Loras though derisively. Something about the knight got under his skin and the suspicion he cast upon Loras still bothered him.

It was the stallion that the Riverlands knight rode that truly drew Loras’ attention. It had to be the most beautiful horse Loras had ever seen. Tall and powerful with a coat of the purest midnight black, he shone like polished steel in the sunlight and captivated the attentions of the crowd. Such a noble looking beast he was that the other mounts on the field looked like no more than plain work horses beside him. It was not right that he had such a plain rider, but even Oryn looked as tall and formidable as any other man while mounted on this stallion. Loras felt as if he would like nothing better than to knock him to the ground.

Renly’s match was called first so Loras was able to stay and watch him joust. He had to admit that he was impressed. Renly didn’t do overly well – he took two victories before being unhorsed in the third round, not that he stood much of a chance against Brynden Tully – but he clearly put in more effort than he had last year.

Loras, as well, was determined to do even better than he had last year. He’d finished one victory away from the semi-finals then. It was an amazing performance for a mere squire, but he was sure would get even further this time. He could already see the crowd’s adoring faces as they watched him knock his final opponent to the ground (in his mind it was Jaime Lannister).

The first two rounds were as easy as they had been last year, with Loras barely needing to touch his opponents before they were crashing to the ground. The third round was harder fought and he shattered three lances against a lordling before taking the victory. The challenge left his heart thrumming with excitement and his blood pumping. The competition thickened as the unskilled were weeded out so the day only got better and better as it wore on. It was challenge like this that truly made Loras come alive.

But when he rode to the line to face his fourth opponent, any feelings of friendly competition evaporated as he looked across the field and saw that damned Oryn Shieldsmith.

They’d only exchanged a few words so Loras was not sure why he was so determined to beat the Riverlands knight, but there was no way Loras would lose this round.

On their first tilt, Loras poised himself to hit Oryn in just the right spot, but at the last second Oryn shifted aside. The lance barely grazed his shoulder, while Oryn’s lance hit Loras’ shield dead center with a powerful jolt. The lance shattered into splinters and Loras was barely able to keep his mount.

Loras was fuming with annoyance but he knew he had to keep calm and focused if he wanted to take this victory. Oryn could not win. Loras glanced scrutinously across the field at him. A squire passed a fresh lance up to Oryn but the horse shied, dancing away until the squire came around to the other side.

 _Interesting,_ Loras thought. Beautiful or not, the horse was nervous on the field. Physically he was a perfect mount but he’d not been properly trained for jousting. The noise of the crowd unsettled him quite obviously, and a loud whistle for the commons made him stamp and twitch. On a horse so timid, Oryn could not be balanced in the saddle. _Interesting,_ Loras thought again.

He rode to the line and took the field when the horn was blown, gaining speed as he and Oryn neared one another. Oryn shifted again but Loras did the same, and he drove his lance up hard at just the right moment.

It went exactly as Loras planned. Oryn’s shield split violently, pieces of it flying up into Oryn’s face. The lance shattered as well but not before driving hard into Oryn’s breastplate and ringing out loudly. In the fray and clangor, the stallion screamed and veered, heaving aside the already unbalanced Oryn. Loras was moving too quickly past to see, but he heard the crash of steel a second later and then the cheers of the crowd.

He was already grinning as he turned his horse at the end of the field, and a feeling of pure satisfaction overcame him when he turned to see Oryn lying in the dirt. The horse was nowhere in sight, having bolted far past the edge of the field. A squire was unsuccessfully trying to drag Oryn to his feet. Loras smirked to himself. He could not remember any victory tasting as sweet as this one.

It turned out to be Loras’ last victory of the day. The freerider who had arrived at last year’s tourney with no renown and then wowed everyone when he’d taken second place was Loras’ next opponent, and after two tilts he drove his lance into Loras’ shoulder with such masterful precision that Loras was sent crashing from the saddle.

Loras had gotten exactly this far in the last tournament. The next round would have been the semi-finals. It was disappointing - he’d not done any better than he had last year, but somehow the loss seemed to bother him less. All had had to do was recall the sight of Oryn lying in the dirt groaning, and he was happy enough even in defeat.  

* * *

 

The feast that night saw the king in far better cheer than he had been all week. Jugglers and jesters entertained while the guests mingled, and the wine flowed liberally all the while. Loras steered clear of it. After his horrific experience in excess last year, he hadn’t been able to touch the stuff.

Renly, though, was enjoying himself thoroughly. Loras was glad to see him in high spirits, and glad to have him back after so many days away. Loras served him at the high table and Renly would lean over to whisper private jokes as his wine was poured. Having Renly’s attention before any of the guests made Loras feel proud in a way that he couldn’t explain.

Once the knights and nobles left for the ballroom, Loras sat down with the other squires to take their meals together. Loras was something of a celebrity among them after his results on the field that day. The other squires were filled with endless compliments for his skill at riding, the fineness of his armor, how beautiful his horse was (“ _but did you see that black stallion the Riverlands knight was riding…_ ”). Loras was sure he would never tire of this kind of endless praise, but somehow he was even happier when they left for the ballroom to rejoin the rest of the guests.

They entered mid-dance, music playing as couples spun on the dance floor. Renly, surprisingly partnerless, came over the moment he spotted Loras.

“These are dangerous waters,” he told Loras. “At the _worst_ of times, girls are tripping over each other to have a dance with you. Now that they’ve been watching you all day…” He paused and grinned. “If you don’t watch yourself, you’ll be betrothed three times over by the end of the night!”

“A plethora of dancing partners is nothing to complain about,” Loras replied, grinning back. Renly was in the same type of ‘danger’. Already the ladies were starting to circle in around the two of them, watching and waiting like hungry wolves. Loras wondered how to best choose a first partner without slighting the others. “And I can handle myself.”

Renly raised an eyebrow and nudged him in the side. “They’d like to _handle_ you too.”

“ _Renly!_ ” Loras laughed, shoving at his shoulder.

Renly dodged away and grinned. “I’m just saying.”

“Saying _what?_ ” Loras asked. Was Renly really suggesting he should take one of the eager women to bed? It was a shock to hear Renly speak so frank and Loras had not thought him the type to indulge in such pleasures. In the time Loras had known him, there’d been no indication of Renly taking anyone to bed, whether it be highborn ladies, kitchen girls, or whores.

“That you should enjoy yourself,” Renly answered, “Only that. You’ll have fun tonight, right?”

It was a curious question, but Loras smiled and nodded. “I expect so.”

“Good. I'm glad to hear it.”

The song ended and Loras glanced over at the head of the hall. The performing singers were twins, a brother and sister with matching silver harps and voices that entwined as closely as crawling vines. An odd memory stirred inside Loras when he saw them, one that was not entirely pleasant.

“Not my first choice for singers, but they’re enjoyable enough,” Renly said when he noticed Loras watching them. “Have you heard them before?”

Loras nodded. “They were at Highgarden for a time, when I was a child.”

Jon and Jeyne of Elsewhere, Loras recalled their names as. They had been younger then and now their long auburn hair was laced with grey, though they were both still beautiful. Their faces resembled each other so closely that Jon was more pretty than handsome, but side by side they made a captivating sight. Even as a child Loras had recognized their beauty, and Margaery had as well. Moments ago those games and fantasies had seemed ages ago, but suddenly they seemed as real as they had been when he was seven.

Renly was drawing him away, leading them nearer to the dance floor. “Perhaps it’s a good thing you’re familiar with the music, because you won’t have a moment to compose yourself all night,” he said, “Though it seems you’ve been spared from the difficulty of choosing a first partner – she’s already chose herself.”

Loras turned to find a pair of bright green eyes staring up at him eagerly. The small girl had pushed her way to the front of the crowd and she held her hand out to Loras expectantly.

Pushing the lingering ill memories aside, Loras assumed his easy courtesy and bent to kiss Myrcella’s outstretched hand. “ _My princess,_ ” he said deferentially, and led her out to the dance floor.


	3. Chapter 3

Loras smiled as he examined his reflection in the mirror. Maybe it was just the glow of the morning sun, but he thought that he _looked_ older today, and felt it as well. Even his hair looked particularly good - it would be covered by a helmet shortly, but that had its own thrill. Last year he’d been refused from the melee because he was too small, but he’d grown taller and broader in the shoulders since then and there was no way the advisor could refuse him this year. After all, he was thirteen today.

Name day or not, he had his squire’s duties to attend to first. He fetched some fresh water for Renly to wash and shave with and quietly entered the next room. It was no surprise to find Renly still abed, stretched out with his back to Loras and his sleep-tousled hair fanned out over the pillow. Loras smiled at the gentle sound of his snoring. Last night’s ball had gone until the early hours of the morning and Renly had departed by then, but if his evening had been anything like Loras’, there had been so many eager partners that he hadn’t even had a chance to sit down between dances.

Loras set to tidying the room as he let Renly sleep. Last night’s finery was scattered over the floor and not for the first time Loras was amused by how little care Renly seemed to have for his clothing. He could spend an hour picking out an outfit, and then toss it to the ground at the end of the day.

Loras picked up the fine garments one by one, laying them on top of Renly’s trunk after they were folded. It was a familiar, mindless task and Loras hummed quietly to himself as he worked.

His humming trailed off as his hand brushed a rough fabric that was nothing like the fine materials Renly wore. Loras held up the garment to examine it. It was a blue and yellow quartered surcoat, not richly made and completely unfamiliar to Loras. He stared at the shield and hammer sigil as he tried to remember where he had seen it before.

A prickling sensation rose on the back of Loras’ neck with the uncomfortable feeling that he was being watched. Unnerved, he glanced back at the bed.

It took a moment to recognize the face, but propped up on the bed and staring over Renly’s bare shoulder was that damned Oryn Shieldsmith.

“Go on. I was enjoying the tune,” the knight said with a grin.

Loras yelped and stumbled backwards, crashing into the wardrobe as he flailed. Renly was startled out of sleep by the noise and he let out a groggy groan. Yawning, he smiled for a moment and his hand reached out to caress Oryn’s stomach. Finally his eyes fluttered open as he came fully into wakefulness and his gaze landed on Loras cowering against the wardrobe.

Immediately Renly bolted upright in bed. The furs were pulled tight around him but it was obvious that both he and Oryn were naked. In horror, Renly stared at Loras. His mouth moved but no words came out, until he shook himself violently.

“ _Loras!_ Ah, this, this isn’t…” At a loss, Renly trailed off and desperately turned to Oryn for some assistance.

“… what it looks like?” Oryn offered with a shrug. “He’s not stupid, Renly, I’m sure he knows it’s exactly what it looks like.”

Loras only gaped at the two of them. Never before in his life had he been too shocked to respond, but he found that no muscle in his body would move. Speechless, he stared at Renly, who was looking more and more panicked.

“Loras, don’t - you mustn’t - you _can’t_ mention this to anyone.Do you understand?” Renly anxiously raked his hands through his hair. “Swear it to me,” he insisted.

“I-I swear,” Loras mumbled meekly.

Oryn was seemingly unaffected by the smothering discomfort in the room and merely rolled from the bed, naked and unashamed, and started retrieving his clothing. Loras let out an undignified squeak as he realized he was still clutching Oryn’s surcoat, and he all but hurled it away from himself.

“ _Truly,_ Loras, you need to mean it,” Renly insisted.

“He means it, I’m sure,” Oryn said. Now, thankfully wearing breeches, he laid a hand on Loras’ shoulder. “You love your master, don’t you? And it’s your duty to protect to him.”

Loras jerked away from Oryn’s hand as if burned, though he had to step fully into the wardrobe to do so. “I swear,” he answered to Renly.

The sigh that Renly let out might have been relief, but he looked no more comfortable than he had before. He ran his fingers through his hair again. “Loras, go fetch some water.”

“I have already.”

“Then - go mix the lather so I can have a shave.”

Shaking, Loras started laying out the shaving tools and towels on the table near the window. He tried to ignore it as Oryn returned to the bed and sat next to Renly, but he could not help but focus in on every word they said.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t stay the night,” Renly said to Oryn.

“I didn’t mean to,” Oryn answered him, “You wore me out pretty well though.” They both laughed at that.

The shaving brush was almost splintering in Loras’ grip. His body felt furiously hot and icy cold all at once. He could barely resist the urge to storm over and punch Oryn for - for humiliating Renly like this.

“Stop worrying so much,” Oryn was telling Renly now. He caught Renly’s chin and drew him closer. “It’s fine. He won’t say anything. Now come here and-”

“It’s ready,” Loras growled.

Renly rose from the bed, taking the bedclothes with him to cover his nakedness. As he sat at the table and began brushing shaving lather onto his face, Loras realized he was left all but alone with Oryn. Storming off would be childish, he told himself, and would feel too much like defeat. He determinedly returned to picking up Renly’s clothing and did his best to ignore the knight.

Of course Oryn didn’t leave him alone. “Are you going to give me as much of a thumping in the melee as you did in the joust?” he asked in such a relaxed, conversational tone that Loras nearly punched him for it. “Pity, I hear your master won’t be fighting alongside us.”

“Well what’s the point of it?” Renly said. He paused from gliding the blade over his jaw to glance back at the two of them. “There’s no elegance or poise to a melee. Just a bunch of sweaty men grappling with each other and rolling around in the mud.”

“Here I thought you’d be into that,” Oryn teased. Renly laughed and Loras tensed up so tightly that he nearly ripped Renly’s smallclothes in his hands.

“But there really is more to it than that,” Oryn went on, “It’s not quite the same as a true battle, not really, but the heat of the fight is the same. The thrill of it is like nothing else. If you’ve never done it before, you really should give it a try.”

“Perhaps…” Renly said contemplatively.

Incredulous, Loras whirled around to stare at him. Renly _never_ fought in melees. Was he really considering it?

“You may enjoy it more than you expect. Go on, give it a chance.”

Renly smiled. “Alright, then. I will.”

The stupid knight was grinning back like Renly had already won the tournament. Loras wanted to punch him more than he ever had before.

“Don’t think I’ll go easy on you, though,” Oryn said, and Loras privately thought the same.

* * *

It pleased Loras that Oryn was not of high enough standing to be feasted among the nobles in the high hall and had to return to the tourney grounds to cook for himself. Loras was feeling quite alone as well, though. He and Renly sat down together to break their fast but for once Renly barely spoke to Loras as they ate. He chatted and made jokes with seemingly everyone but his own squire. To look at him one would think that he was in the same good cheer as ever, and yet to the knowing eye the eerie silence between he and his squire was a sure sign that something had changed.

They rode to the tourney grounds in silence as well, and did not speak even as Loras began dressing Renly in his armor. Loras didn’t feel much like talking, anyway. He couldn’t meet Renly’s eyes, couldn’t even look at him. He barely let his fingers brush the padding beneath Renly’s armor as he attached the metal fastenings.

“Um, Loras. Happy name day,” Renly said at last.

“Not really,” Loras grumbled.

Renly frowned and glanced away. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s - fine,” Loras said. Over an hour had passed and yet Loras felt no less shaken than he had the moment he’d realized what Oryn was doing in Renly’s bed. A thousand thoughts flew through his head and he couldn’t make sense of any of them. His body felt so tight that he was sure he was going snap at any moment.

“Why did you agree?” he asked quietly.

“What?”

Whether Renly did not hear or just didn’t understand wasn’t clear, but Loras supposed it didn’t matter. “Even before we left Storm’s End, I asked you if you would fight in the melee, and you said no,” he said as slowly and levelly as he could manage right now, “why did you agree?”

Catching on to the true meaning, Renly’s frown deepened. “You mustn’t think that,” he insisted.

“Think what? Tell me, tell me what I’m thinking.”

“That - that I didn’t listen to you, or that what you think matters less to me. Truly, Loras, it’s not that. You know how fickle I am sometimes. If you had asked me this morning, I would have agreed as well.” Loras just grumbled in reply, and Renly sighed. “If it means that much to you, I won’t fight today.”

“I don’t care what you do,” Loras told him.

“Loras,” Renly said, “Don’t say that. Tell me you care.”

He touched Loras’ cheek to make their eyes meet, but Loras jerked away. He leapt to his feet and stormed away several paces before he forced himself to halt. His hands were shaking again and he just wanted to flee.

Renly sighed and Loras was sure he was anxiously running his fingers through his hair again. “I know you must think I’m disgusting-”

“I don’t think you’re disgusting!” Loras snapped.

“For lying with a man? Truly Loras, would you have been half this upset if it had been some fair young lady in bed with me?”

“No,” Loras answered, but in truth he did not know. “But I don’t think you’re disgusting.”

“I’m glad. I’m sorry you had to see that this morning, though. I’m sure it’s obvious why I asked you not to tell anyone about - well, but it’s not that that truly concerns me. It’s what you think of me that matters the most. Everything I said yesterday is true - you are my best friend.”

Loras stared at his boots in silence for a while, unsure of what to say or feel. “Renly...” He was still shaking. He clenched his hands into fists, then glanced back over his shoulder. “I don’t care what you do. Just don’t let me see, and don’t talk to me about it ever again.”

It looked completely agonizing to do, but Renly nodded in agreement and let Loras leave.

Loras felt sick as he walked to his own tent. Only once before had he seen Renly look that hurt and hopeless, and Loras had been the cause of it then too. It was much harder to bear now that they were friends. Loras had been so cruel and it was not even Renly’s fault, but it had to be done. He’d made his decision long ago and would not go back on it now. Surely things would return to normal eventually, as soon as Loras got ahold of himself and was more steady on his feet again.

He felt even more sick and sad when he saw that next to his armor the pageboy had laid out the matching cloak and plume that Renly had given to him yesterday. Loras touched the white wool and ran his fingers over the fine embroidered flowers in every shade of blue and green. The garments would be destroyed if Loras wore them in the melee, and yet Loras did not want to leave them behind. He settled on detaching the plume and draping it around his neck to wear beneath his armor. Even if it would not be seen, he wanted to have it with him.

“Is that a favor?” the page asked innocently.

“ _No!_ ” Loras almost yelped as he yanked it off and dropped it. It was _far_ from that. But the sight of it lying on the floor made him feel even worse. He picked it up and put it back on, then took it off and on again twice more before making himself leave it off. The page watched him oddly but didn’t question it.

Loras forced any other thoughts from his mind as the start of the melee was quickly approaching. He chose a battleaxe as his weapon. His small frame meant that he lacked the power needed to do much damage with a blunted sword, while a hammer would be too heavy and ungainly. The axe was a perfect balance - it would give his swing enough force while still allowing him to keep his footing and move lightly.

He was annoyed to arrive at the field and find that Oryn had followed the same reasoning and chosen a battleaxe as well. Loras thought he was ridiculous, being a man grown and yet of height with a thirteen year old. Even if he was bearded and broad in the shoulders, it was still embarrassing. Oryn was just lucky it wasn’t a mounted melee, for his craven excuse for a horse would have bolted off over the horizon before the first blow had been dealt. Even on foot he would not be safe - not if Loras could help it. He watched Oryn shrewdly as the contestants took their places on the field.

The ferocity of the first charge of the lines was like nothing Loras had experienced. One moment the air was still and silent but heavy with such energy that one could almost taste it; then the starter’s horn blew and steel crashed all around, the thick of battle pressing in closer than anything.

Some men yielded early, either because they were unprepared to face the press of battle or because they were early targets of powerful fighters like the Mountain that Rides. The Mountain knocked two men unconscious within the first minute of the melee, and did it with such brutal strength that he seemed to barely notice hitting either of them. Crossing his path was not a wise choice while there were still so many other fighters on the field to wear him down, so Loras made sure to give him a wide berth.

Loras had watched melees before but not fought in them, and now he wondered how anything that looked like such a wild mess at a distance could feel so natural close up. Each move seemed to flow as easily as steps of a dance, less elegant but just as instinctual, and Loras quickly found himself carried away in the sway of it as the battle wore on.

A man twice his size yielded after two blows to the head grounded him. A knight who attempted to take up common cause with Loras suffered the same fate. They slipped from his mind the moment they were off the field, but there was one target that he could not forget.

Finally he spotted Oryn on the field. He’d wanted so badly to punch Oryn this morning, but now he could do worse. He could make Oryn yield, hurt him even, make him bleed. Loras’ grip tightened on his axe as he drew near.

He almost growled in frustration when he realized that at the same time he was drawing nearer to Oryn, Oryn was drawing nearer to Renly. Loras was, however, pleased to see Renly holding his own so well. He’d chosen a warhammer as his weapon and his resemblance to King Robert in his days of conquering did not go unnoticed by the crowds. Nearby, the Mountain was pulverizing some poor hedge knight while Thoros of Myr was chasing down two men with his flaming swords, and even near such skilled fighters Renly did not look out of place on the field.

Renly laughed when he saw Oryn approaching. He swung at Oryn, though there was no real force in it and Oryn easily blocked the blow. In retaliation, Oryn thrust the blunted head of his axe into Renly’s breastplate but it only knocked Renly back a step. Both of them were laughing now, testing each other’s defenses rather than trying to make the other yield. It was a stupid thing to play like that and be enjoying themselves in the middle of the melee, and yet Loras knew that he and Renly would be doing the same thing if they came face to face on the field.

Two grappling knights crashed into Loras and he realized he’d been inattentive to the battle raging around him. Still, he could not bring himself to stop watching Renly and Oryn. He was getting a distinctly uneasy feeling about it, like he knew something bad was about to happen. Renly stood a head taller than Oryn, giving him the advantage of swinging from a difficult angle to block, even if he did not swing hard enough to hurt. Yet Oryn seemed fully aware of the unexpected advantages his own small stature could have. He lunged forward at Renly, ducking low and swinging his axe up in a high arc.

That was when it all went wrong. Renly had not moved his hammer to block, but kept it in a striking position. Too late he realized his mistake, and the attempt to change the angle meant that the block missed completely. Oryn’s axe whirred past and struck him hard in the faceplate.

Stunned, Renly staggered backwards and straight into the line of a savage backswing from the Mountain.

The horrifying crunch of it was the only sound Loras could hear around him. His stomach dropped and time seemed to grind to a halt as Renly crumpled to the ground like a broken doll.

Loras was dashing towards him before he knew it, and he reached Renly’s side at the same time Oryn did. Renly was not moving but was breathing heavily. Loras knelt at his side and lifted Renly’s visor. His skin was chalk-white while his normally bright eyes were rolling in pain. Pieces of his pauldron had shattered and fallen away and his armor was dented and bent at an unnatural angle near the shoulder.

“Yield!” Oryn called for himself, abandoning the battle. Loras called yield as well, and right now he could not even feel annoyed that Oryn had thought to do so first.

“ _My arm,_ ” Renly gasped.

“It’s… don’t move,” Loras told him.

“Gods! Renly, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to… that wasn’t meant…” Oryn blathered. He’d lifted his visor to get a better look at Renly but did nothing else useful. Loras elbowed him out of the way to get closer to Renly.

“I - I can get up.” Renly started to rise, cringing in pain, and Loras put a hand on his chest to push him back down. Just the slight attempt to move had made a cold sweat break out on Renly’s brow. He lifted his good arm and caught Loras’ hand on his chest. Even through both their gauntlets his grip was painfully tight, but it seemed to calm him slightly, so Loras held on to him.

“Gods! What do we do?” Oryn asked Loras.

“Shut up!” Loras snapped at him. He just needed to think. He looked over to the servants at the edge of the field. They were there for this purpose, to carry off and tend wounded fighters, but the continuing onslaught of the battle and the Mountain still fighting so closeby was making them hesitate to step onto the field. Loras would have stormed over and killed them for letting Renly suffer like this, but he could not leave Renly’s side. He needed to get Renly off the field somehow, and without jostling his likely-broken arm.

Renly’s eyes were now fluttering shut and his grip on Loras’ hand was growing weaker. “I’m going to black out now,” he gasped. Loras nodded at him, and Renly did just that.

“What do we _do?_ ” Oryn asked again.

Loras looked over at the knight, who was struck dumb in panic. This was Oryn’s fault, all of it. He’d bedded Renly, injured him, and now done nothing useful despite Renly’s desperate need of immediate help.

It was the absolute worst time for it, but Loras had reached his breaking point. With all the force he could muster, he drew his fist back and slammed it hard into Oryn’s face.


	4. Chapter 4

The maester who examined Renly’s arm was extra gentle with him, which probably had something to do with Loras looming over him like an angry mother bear. It had taken two blacksmiths to cut Renly’s bent armor away from him and freeing his arm had not been easy - Loras’ immediate reaction to hearing Renly cry out in such pain was his hand going to his dirk, and he barely managed to stop himself from slitting the throats of the men who were only trying to help Renly. Unsurprisingly, the maester kept one eye on Loras as he tended Renly.

Renly’s arm was broken just above the elbow, it turned out. The master said it was good news. It was a clean break and in all likelihood it would fully heal, given time. He set the bone back in place and slathered it in comfrey that hardened to prevent the bone from shifting.

The Mountain had hit Renly so hard that Renly’s breastplate dented when his arm snapped against it, and though Renly’s ribs beneath weren’t broken, they were bruised a deep, mottled purple. It left him in a very uncomfortable position - the tender bruising was in the place where his arm would rest against his side in a sling, so he was forced to spend much of his time lying in bed on his good side with his broken arm supported before him on a pillow.

More than anything it was Renly’s injury on the field that made Loras get a hold on himself again. He couldn’t bear the thought of Renly being not only in pain, but alone. Renly needed someone at his side, and that was all Loras needed to forget what he’d felt that morning in Renly’s room and force this away from himself, again.

Well-wishers stopped by Renly’s chambers over the following days and Renly was in good cheer, amusing and entertaining them even from bed. Loras stayed with him, sitting to the side while visitors were there and stretching out next to Renly while they were alone, as he’d often done before. They played cyvasse or told stories or just talked and laughed together. Both of them were calmer now. Things felt back to normal and Loras was grateful for it.

What Loras did _not_ like, however, was that Renly’s most frequent visitor was Oryn Shieldsmith.

“You shouldn’t let him in here. Not after what he did to you,” Loras told Renly.

Renly smiled at him. “And just what did Oryn do to me?”

“He nearly killed you!”

“He apologized, and it was an accident. You know it was.”

“He hit you in the face,” Loras protested.

“So did you,” Renly said, raising his eyebrow. There was a thin white scar above it from where Loras had accidentally struck him in the face with a wooden practice sword on the first day they met.

“That’s different,” Loras argued, “You _know_ me. Not like you know him.”

“I didn’t know you when you hit me. So should I have sent you back to Highgarden for it? I know Oryn better now than I knew you then, after all.” Loras’ scowl at being outreasoned made Renly grin. “In fact, there are certain ways in which I _know_ him better that I know you now,” he joked.

The grin only lasted for a second before his face fell. “I’m sorry, I said I wouldn’t talk about things like that.”

“It’s okay,” Loras said. It had been a miserable few days and Renly had been morose for weeks before as well, so Loras was happy to hear his usual humor, even if he’d asked Renly not to mention these things. He just wanted to see Renly smile. “You can go on.”

“No, I’ll stop. I said I would.”

“It’s okay, Renly, really.” Loras hated to think of it, but he did not like that there was this side of Renly that he didn’t know anything about. He knew why Renly would keep it secret, why anyone would, but that did not stop his curiosity. “Was - was this where you were going those days before the tourney? To see him?” he asked.

Renly looked tentative but with Loras’ encouragement he went on. “Not at first. I wasn’t looking for anyone like him, anyway.”

“But have you looked before?”

“Yes, I suppose so.”

Loras turned away and started picking at a feather that was poking through the bedclothes. It was an odd thing to think about. “And when you... desire to be with a man, how do you find them?”

“It doesn’t happen often, to be honest - not for me, anyway. But sometimes you just know. I met Oryn on one of the first evenings we were here. We got to chatting, and he invited me to his room. Somehow I knew exactly what he meant.” Renly laughed. “You just know, I guess.”

_You just know._ Loras didn’t understand how that worked. “And... and are you two lovers now?”

It was a relief to hear Renly laugh at that.

“No, no, nothing like that. He’s good fun to be around, but it would not work out. He lives in the Riverlands, besides. Perhaps if he returns to King’s Landing I’ll see him again, but we haven’t made any plans for it.”

“You’d travel up from Storm’s End to see him?” Loras asked.

Renly looked puzzled for a moment, and then he bit his lip. “Ah, not exactly...”

Oryn chose that moment to arrive at Renly’s room again. He’d brought a flower for Renly but thankfully didn’t try to kiss him or anything. Loras did not even rise from Renly’s bed. He stayed in place, right between the two of them, and silently glowered at Oryn.

“You’re looking more lively today,” Oryn said to Renly as he pulled a chair up to the bedside, “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Renly answered, “The pain is not so bad now, but spending so much time doing nothing really starts to weigh on one.” He smiled. “Good company certainly helps, though.”

Oryn grinned back at him. “I hope I can make it more bearable for you, then.”

Loras almost snorted at that. He could find a hundred unbearable things about Oryn, at least. How his beard did not fully disguise his ruddy cheeks, the way he slurred together the words in ‘King’s Landing’, that he had a pimple - a _pimple_ \- on his forehead. All this wasn’t even taking into account his shoddy clothing and his useless horse. He was an altogether unbearable person.

The only thing Loras found remotely tolerable about Oryn was the bruising that had appeared around his eye. Oryn’s helm had prevented Loras’ fist from hitting him full in the face, but there was still a distinct purple outline where the knuckle of Loras’ gauntlet had connected with his nose. Oryn did not mention the punch to Renly, which was disappointing. Loras wanted to take credit for a job well done, but Oryn probably excused his violent reaction the same way he excused his own useless panic.

Deep down, Loras knew that Renly’s injury had been an accident. He’d watched the whole thing. The Mountain was the one to actually hit Renly, and yet Loras didn’t blame him half as much. Something about Oryn just rubbed Loras the wrong way.

Renly healed well over the following days, but soon Oryn announced that he could extend his stay in King’s Landing no longer and that he must return to the Riverlands. Loras tried to hide his smile, but not very hard. Renly seemed disappointed to hear it, though. He even asked Loras to leave the room so he and Oryn could say their goodbyes in private.

Loras listened at the door and he was not sure if he was relieved or annoyed that he couldn’t make out the words they were saying. Thankfully it was not long before the door opened and Oryn stepped out into the hallway.

“I’m off now,” he said, smiling politely. “It was nice meeting you, Loras. Here’s hoping that we’ll face each other again on the tourney field.”

Loras did not move or speak, and only stared at Oryn in stormy silence.

Oryn’s smile faltered. “You must know I didn’t hurt him on purpose. I do care about him, whatever you believe. Now let’s shake hands, and we’ll part on good terms.”

He extended his arm to Loras for a handshake. Loras crossed his arms across his chest.

“What makes you think I want to part on good terms?” he asked coolly.

Oryn’s arm dropped back to his side and for the first time he glared back at Loras. “You’ve been nothing but rude to me since the moment we met. What is it? Is it because of my rank? Because I can’t afford rich silks and finely crafted steel and horsemasters like you can? Or is it because you’re in love with him yourself?”

Loras had a full supply of cruel retorts but they all flew out of his head at that last barb. His jaw hung open for several moments before his senses returned. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he spat.

“Don’t I?” Oryn spat back, “It’s not hard to miss the way you stare at him all starry eyed and get jealous when someone else so much as looks at him. He’s not yours alone, you know. So either man up and say something, or keep your nose out of it.”

And with that, Oryn turned on his heel and strode off down the hallway.

It was with a shaking hand that Loras opened the door back into Renly’s room. Renly frowned at him when he entered.

“Were you and Oryn arguing out there?” he asked.

“No,” Loras lied. He crossed the room and nearly laid back down next to Renly, but then sat in the chair at the bedside instead.

“Alright...” Renly said. He clearly didn’t believe Loras but wasn’t about to press the issue. Loras met his eyes for a second but quickly looked away.

_Starry eyed_... Oryn didn’t know what he was talking about.


	5. Chapter 5

It was against the maester’s orders, but two days later the party from Storm’s End packed up to leave King’s Landing. Loras was sceptical and thought Renly to be pushing things too quickly, even with dreamwine to dull the pain as he rode, but the going was easier than expected. The heavy rains had left the main road sodden and treacherous, so they took a different, more leisurely route back to Storm’s End. It brought them closer to the Reach and the beauty of the surrounding forests made up for the longer journey. Trees formed a canopy of leaves over the path in many places, and in the evenings they set up camp in wide fields of wildflowers. Renly was often so exhausted from the day’s ride that he wanted to do little more than turn in for the night, which Loras found relieving for several reasons.

Today they rode ahead from the rest of the party with two of Renly’s knights. Earlier they’d told stories and sang together, but now they were quiet, enjoying the beauty and calm of the forest. Tall grass swayed at the sides of the narrow path and the sun peeked through the leaves overhead to dance over them like liquid gold. The forest was so peaceful in its gentle sounds, but Loras could not enjoy it as he watched Renly carefully.

Breaking his arm had caused Renly many inconveniences beyond the pain, one of which was that he had been unable to shave himself since the morning before he was injured. A thick beard had started to fill out over his jaw. It was not the look Renly preferred for himself and yet it suited him. He looked older, or more refined perhaps, and every inch the nobleman in his fine clothes. Like this, Loras could see why Renly pursued such a fashionable style, with what it could do for a man.

Adding even more to his charming air was the beautiful black stallion Renly was mounted on. The accusations in the hallway had not been the last insult Oryn dealt to Loras, as Loras was horrified to learn that Oryn had left his tourney horse as a parting gift for Renly. Loras thought it should be an _apology_ gift, if anything, and it was a poor one besides. The horse’s nervous, untamed nature had been Oryn’s downfall in the joust, and such a horse was no desirable gift.

Despite these misgivings, Loras found himself once again taken by the horse’s beauty. _Titan_ was what he was called, fittingly, as he was huge and powerful. Loras’ own horse, Bluebell, a sooty courser who was one of Willas’ first successes, seemed almost plain beside him. Titan was so noble in looks that even Oryn had looked remarkable while mounted on him, so Renly, who was handsome on his worst days, looked like a king.

The horse seemed calmer out here in the forest and had given Renly no trouble in the past few days of travel. The easy pace helped as well, putting as little strain on Renly’s arm as possible. _Easy_ didn’t seem to be enough today, and Loras watched Renly carefully.

His injuries were healing well, though there were days when the pain was better or worse. Today was not a good day. Renly’s face was pale and bore traces of his discomfort with every step Titan took. Loras was startled to realize that, if it were not for Titan lending the polished air to Renly’s already tailored appearance, Renly would look ready to fall right out of the saddle.

Loras had to say something. Despite his reluctance to engage in any of the usually easy talk between the two of them these past few days, he’d made sure to do his best to keep Renly comfortable as he recovered. Loras kept the dreamwine in his saddlebags to serve to Renly whenever needed, and they should stop so that he could pour Renly a cup of it.

The path was narrow here and they rode single file, so Loras had to bring Bluebell through the tall grass as he rode up to Renly’s side.

“Renly-” he started to say, but then it all happened so fast.

Riding through the grass startled two rabbits out of their hiding place. In the same instant they darted across the path and between the horses legs, a fox leapt out of the bushes on the other side and made chase to them.

The horses reared in fright as the animals weaved between the legs; the knight in front was thrown from the saddle just as the fox caught one of the rabbits around the neck, and Loras barely kept his seat on Bluebell. None of the horses screamed as loud as Titan, who was bolting off into the forest almost before his hooves hit the ground again.

Bluebell was quickly brought under control again and Loras took off after Renly, cursing as he rode. Bluebell could not match Titan’s speed, but Loras fought hard to keep Renly in sight. Renly was barely keeping the saddle as they crashed through the trees, charging over the uneven ground made even more treacherous by the heavy cover of underbrush.

Finally Titan started to slow down, and he came to an abrupt halt as he broke through the tree cover and reached the edge of a river. Renly was hunched over almost double in the saddle. Wasting no time tethering Bluebell after dismounting, Loras immediately rushed to Renly’s side.

Renly had gone as pale as slate from having his already tender arm so roughly jostled in the ride. His face was nearly green, and he had his eyes closed and was breathing heavily.

“Help me down,” he gasped to Loras, “I’m going to be sick.”

Loras barely caught him as Renly all but fell from the saddle. He was on his feet for no more than a second before he collapsed at the edge of the river and was sick into the water.

Frustrated, Loras paced off along the edge of the riverbank. A rough jaunt through the forest was the last thing Renly needed. Loras glared at Titan. The damned horse was looking remarkably calm again, with not a hint of the frenzy that had sent him stampeding into the forest. Loras was not even sure how long it had taken before he slowed down.

Once again, Loras cursed the day that Renly had accepted such a cowardly, untamed horse. All the horses had spooked at the wild animals, but they were disciplined enough to be brought under control again. Titan, however, reacted with a headlong spring away, which was exactly what he’d done when Loras faced Oryn during the joust. He should have known better than to allow Renly to ride Titan.

Even with a better horse, Loras would not be eager to push Renly back into the saddle. He knew they could not delay; the knights who they were with would have reached them by now if they were able to follow, and word of Renly’s disappearance would very quickly cause a stir when it reached the main party. Renly looked so pathetic slumped against the rocks at the edge of the river that Loras wished they had more time to rest.

He glanced up at the sun to judge the hour and felt an uncomfortable sinking sensation when he found that the sun was not where he expected it to be. He thought they’d gone west, but the sun was too far south for them to have taken a straight path.

Loras glanced back at the small riverside clearing. Bluebell was drinking from the water at one edge, while Renly was slumped against a rock with Titan at the other. The river was high and fast-flowing, though Loras didn’t recognize it. The trees were too tall and dense to see any mountains or castles in the distance. There was no indication at all of where they might be, or which direction they should go to find the road again.

Returning to the edge of the trees, Loras peered into the forest to try to judge which way they’d come from. There were no hoof prints in the dirt. Some branches were broken where they had emerged, but there were broken branches over there as well...

Loras’ typical composure was just starting to slip into true worry, and then cold steel pressed against his throat.

“ _Don’t move, and maybe I won’t kill yeh,_ ” a rough voice growled in his ear.

Instinctively Loras reached for his sword, but the man behind him moved faster, yanking the swordbelt at Loras’ waist with such force that the leather broke. He tossed it out of reach and the knife pressed harder against Loras’ neck.

“What did I just tell yeh?” the man growled. From the corner of his eye, Loras could see little more of him other than an ugly face and a scraggly beard. _Bandit,_ Loras thought. The smell of him was absolutely foul, and the knife forced Loras closer against him.

“On your feet,” another unfamiliar voice said behind them. “Must be our lucky day, heh? Finding two little lordlings in the woods. This one’s dressed up like a peacock. How’s that one, Horker?”

‘Horker’ yanked Loras around to face the others. “Prettier than you are.”

Two other grubby bandits stood around Renly. “It ain’t hard!” one of them laughed. With her thick shoulders and short cropped hair, Loras would not have even noticed that she was a woman. The other bandit had Renly backed against Titan with a dagger

“Stop it, he’s hurt!” Loras shouted at them. Horker elbowed him in the stomach for it, making Loras double over, and snarled at him to be quiet.

“Aw, your poor widdle arm,” the woman said, tisking over Renly’s arm in the sling as she helped herself to the rings on his fingers. “Must have strained it powdering your nose, huh?” She unfastened his cloak next, making him wince in pain as she yanked it off his shoulders and wrapped it around her own.

“ _Stop it!_ ” Loras shouted again, struggling. He fell forward as Horker kicked him in the back of the leg. A boot pressed his face into the mud.

“I told yeh to _shuddup_ or yeh know what’s going to happen,” Horker said, pressing his boot down harder.

“Ain’t you got nothing to say?” the man holding the knife to Renly’s throat asked him.

Renly had been silent since the bandits’ appearance. No doubt his pain was troubling him worse than ever and the bandits weren’t gentle with him, but despite his pale, strained face, he smiled. “Only that if you kill one of us, who will you send to deliver the ransom note?”

The woman laughed. “Ransom? Who do you think we are, some proper high class thieves? Naw, we’re going to slit your throats and toss you in this river here.”

“Then why haven’t you done it yet?” Renly asked. “Our clothing and possessions are worth just as much if you’d killed us first.” He smiled again, a humorous expression that was disarming to see on a man being held at knifepoint. “Minding the blood stains, of course.”

Their interest sparked, the thieves glanced back and forth between each other. “Could we get a lot to ransom you?” the man with the knife asked curiously.

“For the Lord Paramount of the Stormlands? Yes, I think so.”

Gold dragons seemed to shine in the woman’s eyes. “Is he a Baratheon?” she asked excitedly.

“Yeah, and I’m the High Septon,” Horker said, “He’s lying.”

The other bandits barely heard him. “What do Baratheons look like?” the woman asked now.

“They... wear black and yellow?” the man offered.

“The Baratheon sigil is a stag,” Renly told them, “Check the cloak you relieved me of, and you’ll find a stag pin.”

The dagger stayed where it was against Renly’s throat, but both thieves turned to examine the brooch on the cloak.

“Looks like a deer to me,” the man said.

“A stag is a deer, you idiot,” the woman grumbled at him.

“He’s _lying,_ ” Horker said again. “I got a lion on my shirt right here. Does that make me a Lannister?”

With his face pressed to the ground, Loras could just see that Horker was wearing a dirty red surcoat with the Lannister sigil on it. He’d likely stolen it from a Lannister soldier. Or a Lannister soldier’s body, more like. Loras began to struggle again, managing to roll away to the side before a kick in the stomach had him wheezing.

“Really want my knife in yer belly, the way yeh keep fucking around,” Horker said with his boot back at Loras’ head, grinding his face into the mud as Loras still struggled.

“Loras, _stop it,_ ” Renly snapped, his voice for the first time giving away the tension he was under. A second later the calm, friendly tone had returned. “Send my squire to deliver your ransom terms, and my bannermen will return with whatever you ask for.”

“More like your bannermen will return and hang us for robbing,” the man with the dagger said suspiciously.

Horker snorted. “That’s what I said.”

But the woman was still taken with the idea. “Could we get a hundred gold dragons for you?”

“Of course, and more beyond,” Renly answered her. They could easily get ten times that for a hostage of Renly’s standing. “Name your terms, and deliver my squire to the nearest castle with them.”

That made her hesitate. “Maybe we should just take what they have and leave ’em...”

“ _No,_ ” Horker said, “Kill him, or I will. Yeh let him go, he’ll have soldiers hunting us down and we’ll hang before morning. Yeh send him to ransom, we still hang.”

“A hundred gold dragons...” the man with the dagger said wistfully, but the woman sighed.

“Horker’s right. Slit his throat and be done with it.”

“ _NO!_ ”

Loras had not even been aware it was there, but suddenly the knife sheathed in Horker’s boot was in his hand and he plunged it into Horker’s calf. Horker howled in pain and staggered back, and Loras threw himself forward to where his swordbelt lay on the ground.

He was distantly aware of Titan screaming and rearing, knocking Renly and the two thieves aside. The horse’s hoof came down on the man’s foot, and his shriek of pain was drown out seconds later as he fell backwards into the river.

“ _Yeh whoreson bitch!_ ” Horker snarled, stumbling back towards Loras with his knife raised. Loras’ sword was just out of reach... he inched forward and his fingers closed around the hilt, drawing it from the sheath and rolling over just in time to slash it across Horker’s chest.

Blood spurted onto Loras’ face as he leapt to his feet, looking wildly around. Renly was on his knees but very much alive; some distance away, the woman was already mounted on Bluebell and riding away with Renly’s cloak streaming behind her.

Loras’ feet carried him only a few steps after her before he stopped himself. There was no way he would catch her, not in the forest, but he would have given anything for a bow to sink an arrow into her back.

A spluttering sound caught Loras’ attention. He turned back to where Horker was sprawled out on the ground, bleeding out but still clinging to the last moments of life.

“Please,” he gurgled, “ _Please._ ”

Whether it was for mercy or for death, Loras didn’t care. This was the man who would have had Renly killed. He would have done it himself even.

With no hesitation, Loras placed the tip of his sword at Horker’s throat and sunk it into his neck, watching as the light in the bandit’s eyes faded while his life’s blood poured out.

When he turned around, Renly was watching him, still on his knees. He was muddy and wet from the riverbank and he held his arm awkwardly even in the sling - but to Loras, he looked more alive than he had all day.

He stumbled forward and fell to his knees beside Renly. No words came as he watched Renly’s face, the blue of his eyes, the gentle parting of his lips as he breathed heavily. For the first time Loras became aware of just how hard his own heart was beating.

“You saved me,” Renly said in stunned amazement.

“I had to,” Loras answered, though Renly did not hear it as he tugged Loras closer to him. Loras leaned into him easily and pressed his cheek to Renly’s chest, the sound of Renly’s heart beating bringing Loras’ own heartbeat back under control.

It didn’t seem real. He’d just killed a man. The one who fell into the river was likely dead as well, and he would have killed the woman without hesitation. Perhaps it should have affected him more - he’d heard it would, as all men’s first kill apparently did, but all he could care about was that Renly was still with him.

When he was finally ready to leave Renly’s shoulder, they were both startled to find Renly’s doublet stained with blood. “You’re hurt,” Renly said to Loras, frowning.

“I’m not,” Loras assured him, “It’s not my blood.”

“It is.” Renly touched Loras’ neck and Loras was shocked to feel it sting. The knife must have broken the skin before Loras had been pushed to the ground. He’d not even noticed.

The cut wasn’t deep, though it was still lightly bleeding and soaking into the neck of his tunic. Renly caught the edge of Loras’ cloak to wipe it away, but Loras pulled it out of Renly’s hand before the fabric could touch the blood.

“Not that,” he said. It was the cloak Renly had given to Loras for his name day. The white fabric was already stained from the struggles with the bandit but Loras could not dirty it purposefully. He used his sleeve instead to dab at the remaining blood on his neck.

Renly smiled. “I would feel pleased that my good taste in clothing is finally starting to make an impression, but I ache far too much to be able to laugh right now.” He laboriously got to his feet, wincing even as Loras helped him.

Renly glanced around the riverbank for Bluebell, and noticed for the first time that she was gone. He cringed. “Do you think we can ride double on Titan until we get to the road?”

Loras felt his heart sinking. “Um, Renly. I’m not sure how to get back,” he said, “I tried to keep track of the direction we were going when I followed you, but we’re not where I thought we were.”

Worry darkened Renly’s face. He glanced around again as if a signpost would suddenly appear. “So - so we’re lost?”

Loras nodded.

Renly sighed and dragged his good hand through this hair. It was a gesture Loras had long come to realize as a sign that something troubled Renly, and today it bore a hint of frustration as well. Such annoyance was rare to see from Renly, but their current situation would have been frustrating even if Renly’s arm wasn’t troubling him worse than ever.

“If no one was able to follow our trail then they’ll have to go to Lord Greyle’s keep and get his hunting hounds. That’s half a day’s ride from where we were, maybe more. So a day here at least. And that’s if the hounds can catch the scent...”

“And if they can’t?” Loras asked.

“Then, then we’ll follow the river and see where that takes us.”

That could be a hopeless venture, though with any luck it would not come to that. For now all they could do was wait. After the events of the day, it was not a pleasant thought to know that they were stranded out here.

Renly ran his hand through his hair again. He glanced at the bandit’s body. “Let’s at least move downstream a bit, shall we?”

Loras took Titan’s reins to lead him and Renly followed behind. They walked along the riverbank until they found a small, sheltered break in the trees where they could settle down to wait. It was as ideal a place as they were like to find out here.

The prospect of spending this time with Renly after Loras had been doing his best to avoid him was less than comforting, but there was no real choice now. Loras was more concerned about how Renly would fair out here. With Bluebell gone, there was no dreamwine to dull the pain and it was catching up to Renly now, making him edgy as his energy faded. He sat down against the trunk of a tree to rest while Loras tethered Titan.

Loras unsaddled the horse as well as they were unlikely to be going anywhere anytime soon. Titan watched him with big, calm eyes while he worked. Again Loras was taken by just how handsome and intelligent the horse looked, yet today he had proved just how much trouble he really was. They would not be in this mess, if not for Titan, and Oryn before him.

Titan had the gall to nuzzle his shoulder then, and Loras jumped away.

“Don’t you nuzzle me! You got us into this mess!” Loras told the horse.

Renly opened his eyes to watch them. “What?”

“Your dumb horse,” Loras grumbled, glaring at Titan. He kept one eye on the horse as he dug through the saddlebags in search of food. Loras had been the one to pack them so he was not surprised to find only a few seedcakes and some dried fruit.

He glared at Titan again. “Too bad we can’t eat _you,_ ” he told the horse.

Renly snorted. “The Tyrell family has already forced me to eat horse once. I’m not eager to do it again, thanks.”

Loras whirled around to stare at him, shocked by this mention of the Siege of Storm’s End. “Renly-”

“I’m sorry,” Renly said, frowning. “That was uncalled for.” Loras still gaped at him, and he forced a smile. “It was meant to be a joke, though a bad one. Really, Loras, don’t fret. I don’t really feel like that. It’s just the pain putting me on edge.”

Sighing, Loras sat down next to him and passed over a few of the seedcakes. “Here. Maybe this will help.” Loras could go without if needed, but he hoped it would take Renly’s mind off the pain. He hated to see Renly so troubled and knowing that Loras had no way of helping him was even worse. “I wish there was more I could do for you.”

“You already saved my life today. I think that’s enough,” Renly said, smiling as he laid his hand on Loras’ shoulder. Loras dropped his head so his cheek rested against it and Renly squeezed him gently. “I’m sorry you lost Bluebell for it, though.”

Loras nodded and had to get to his feet to hide the emotion that threatened to take him. He went to the edge of the river in the guise of cleaning himself, but instead he just sat and watched the water for a while. He’d not even wanted to think about Blue, or where she might be now. She wasn’t a tourney horse, but Loras had always preferred her for riding, as she was brave and never hesitated no matter where he took her. She had even been the horse he’d come from Highgarden on. Damn that woman for stealing her. Loras just hoped that wherever Blue ended up, she would be treated well.

With a heavy heart, Loras knelt at the edge of the river to wash the mud and blood from his face and hair. His clothing was dirty as well but there was little sense in trying to wash it now, when he didn’t know how cold it might get once the sun set. He and Renly often left the castle at Storm’s End to go swimming at night and were left with soaked smallclothes, but there were no warm chambers or hot baths to return to out here.

Renly was looking a little better when Loras returned. There was more color in his face, at least, and he looked less tense. Loras gingerly sat down beside him again. The day was finally starting to catch up with him. He realized how much he ached from being shoved and kicked, and the cut on his neck still stung.

“You okay?” Renly asked.

Loras glanced up at the leaves above them. “Perfect. This is exactly the accommodations I had hoped to spend the night in.”

“Fair point,” Renly said, smiling. “Lately, though. You’ve been very quiet these past few days. Very serious.”

Loras only shrugged. He had felt different lately, but he didn’t suppose there was anything he could change about it. “You have your moments too,” he said, recalling Renly’s subdued periods over the past months.

“It just seems so rare for you. I don’t mean to pry, and I know I said I wouldn’t mention it, but - is it about me preferring men?”

“What? No, it’s not that,” Loras said, frowning.

“It’s okay if it is. I know it’s not exactly an easy thing to accept.”

“It’s not that, I told you,” Loras grumbled. “It’s just... Oryn, really?”

Renly rolled his eyes, though it was a fond gesture. “Me getting injured was an accident and you know it.”

“It’s more than that. He gave you a horse that nearly killed you. How could he think that was a good gift?”

“It was a kind gesture. I’d told him how much I admired the horse, so he gave it to me in return.”

Something sunk in Loras’ chest. “In return for _what?_ ”

“I gave him my sword before we parted,” Renly explained.

For the first time Loras noticed that Renly did not have his sword at his belt. It had been a beautiful sword with bright amber gems in the hilt and an intricate pattern carved over the sheath. Loras was suddenly furious. He’d always admired that sword, and if Renly was going to give it away, _he_ wanted to be the one to have it.

“I thought you said you weren’t lovers,” Loras said as flatly as he could manage, “That you didn’t plan to see him again.”

“No, but we became friends. That part was, well, strange.” Renly shrugged. “Unexpected. It would not have happened if I hadn’t been injured and he hadn’t visited me as I was recovering, but it was nice to have him stay.”

Loras scowled. “He overstayed his welcome.”

“Whose welcome?” Renly asked, laughing. “Honestly, Loras, that’s behind us now. You don’t have to worry about me running off with him and leaving you behind.”

“I wouldn’t let you run off with someone like _him._ ”

Renly laughed again. “You’d stop me, then? Well, I’m pleased. It won’t come to that though. It was meant to be only a short thing, and it was. I can’t allow myself any more than that, if you understand.”

A lump formed in Loras’ throat at just how well he understood. It was not easy for someone of these preferences to find love. The prospects Renly faced in it were difficult, perhaps even dangerous. Loras felt terribly sad to think that all Renly could allow himself was short trysts like this.

Renly smiled consolingly. “Don’t despair for me. Life takes people in too many directions, anyway. It’s easier like this.”

“If that’s the case, then you could have at least picked someone more comely than Oryn,” Loras said, frowning at Renly’s amused look.

“You must not think anyone comely next to yourself. I think you hate him a little more than necessary.”

Loras huffed, and Renly nudged him gently. “Hey now. He was good fun. Really, are you certain you two didn’t argue in the hall?”

Loras was on his feet before he knew it. “ _No,_ ” he said.

“Loras-”

“There was nothing to argue about!”

“Alright...” Renly said tentatively, but then he grinned. “Then are you sure you weren’t just jealous of me spending time with him?”

“ _No!_ ” Loras snapped again, already storming off into the woods.

“Loras,” Renly called after him, still amused, “I’m just joking around. Where are you going?”

Loras didn’t answer. He didn’t know, anyway - it wasn’t like he could go far and leave Renly alone, but he also couldn’t stand to sit around and be teased like that.

He kicked a rock as he stepped through the bushes. _Jealous?_ How could Renly say that? What was there to be jealous of? Renly still considered Loras to be his closest friend. Loras had been at Renly’s side the entire time he was in bed and visiting with Oryn, and Renly had not once spoken to Oryn in that private, carefree way he only spoke to Loras in. Loras was still the only one who knew that true side of Renly.

So why didn’t it feel like enough?

So maybe Loras was a _little_ jealous. Only because of this new part of Renly he didn’t know. He _couldn’t_ and that was just the way it was. It was nothing to do with what Renly said, or what Oryn told him as parting words.

Loras sat down at the edge of the river and rubbed his hands over his face. He’d thought he was getting better at dealing with this thing again. He tried treating it like he always had since he was a child, forcing those thoughts away and distracting himself, but it was like everything was pulling him back. First seeing those singers and being reminded of that part of himself that he’d worked so hard to forget, and then finding out about Renly, making him think that maybe, maybe it was okay...

He couldn’t let himself fall into those thoughts. More than ever he wished they were in a warm keep, with a training yard to escape to and wear himself out in. He was exhausted after everything that had happened today, but still he would have appreciated the relief of hitting something until nothing was left of his thoughts but white.

When the sun was setting and the forest was going dark, Loras returned to their small clearing. Renly looked up as Loras returned and flashed him an apologetic smile. Damn that smile - Loras could never stay mad when Renly looked at him like that. His remaining annoyance from Renly’s teasing dissolved, and Loras smiled back.

Loras had already decided against building a fire for the night; the bandits from earlier may not be the only ones lurking in the forest, and with Renly injured and one sword between them, Loras wasn’t eager to advertise their location. It would get cold, but they’d manage.

He took Titan’s saddle blanket and handed it to Renly. “Here. You can sleep with this,” he said, not pointing out the obvious by apologizing for the unpleasant smell. It would be warm, at least. Loras had his cloak to wrap around himself, and he sat on a fallen log where he planned to keep watch for the night.

“Come lay down with me,” Renly said.

“I’m not tired,” Loras lied.

“Come, the light is almost gone and there’s not much else you can do. Besides, I need something to rest my arm on.”

It took a moment for the meaning to dawn on Loras, and then he couldn’t keep the shocked expression off his face. “ _Me?_ ”

Renly laughed. “What else is there?” he asked.

He was right. Looking around the clearing, there was not much else to use. The saddle? A rock? Renly was already in pain and Loras didn’t want to cause him any more. “A-alright,” he said.

They laid down together on the horse blanket with Loras’ cloak pulled over them. Loras lay on his back, and Renly was right beside him with his injured arm resting across Loras’ chest.

The forest floor was softer than expected but Loras could not get comfortable. They’d laid side by side countless times before, but never pressed together so. He was sure he’d _never_ been this close to Renly. He could feel Renly’s breath on his cheek. If he were to turn his head, their noses would touch.

“Calm down, Loras. Your heart feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest,” Renly said. That just made Loras’ heart pound harder. He’d not realized that Renly was able to feel his heartbeat. He closed his eyes and tried to steady himself.

“Just breathe,” Renly said.

“Yeah,” Loras mumbled. Moments ago he’d been exhausted but now his body was buzzing with nervous energy. He squirmed again, feeling more and more uncomfortable. It was too warm being pressed against Renly and the heat made Loras want to pull away and move closer at the same time.

He just needed to stop thinking about it. He tried to distract himself by watching a torchbug that was flying above, or by listening to Titan’s snoring, but all he could think about was that Renly’s fingertips were brushing his neck with every breath.

“Loras, really, you’re scaring me. You’ve got nothing to worry about.” Renly grinned. “Despite what you’ve seen of me lately, I’m not going to try to grope you like this.”

And before Loras could stop himself, before he could even think, it came out of his mouth: “ _Why not?!_ ”

Several seconds of shocked silence passed before Renly laughed awkwardly. “What do you mean, ‘why not’?”

“Why won’t you try to touch me like that?” Loras asked, “I’m comely, aren’t I? You said so yourself.”

Renly sighed. “I’ll just go lay somewhere on my own, alright?”

“No, I want to know! What did Oryn have that I didn’t?”

“I’m really not in the mood for this,” Renly warned.

“Well? What is it?” Loras pressed.

It seemed like Renly wouldn’t answer, but eventually he sighed again. “First of all, you prefer women.”

“What if I don’t, though?”

“What if you _didn’t,_ you mean,” Renly corrected. “It wouldn’t make a difference. I was being truthful when I said that you were like a brother to me.”

The same sentiment had been charming a few days ago. Now it hurt far more than it should have. “ _Oh,_ ” was all Loras said.

“‘Oh’?”

“That’s it?” Loras asked, “I’m just some little kid brother?”

“You know I don’t think of you like that,” Renly assured him

“You ought to,” Loras grumbled.

Renly laughed dryly. “You want me to think of you as a child?”

“No, I want you to think of me as... ”

Loras trailed off as he finally realized what he was building up to.

Renly seemed to catch the direction as well, and Loras felt him tense.

“Just drop it, Loras,” he said.

But Loras couldn’t, not when it was all starting to make sense. Had he really never seen the chance before? For either of them? He could almost laugh at the doubts he’d held. It was so _simple._

“Renly,” he said, “Don’t you see? What if you didn’t have to go up to King’s Landing to find someone to be with? And what if you could be with them for more than a few days, because you were already with than anyway? No one would think it was strange to see us together.”

The last light of day was dying away, but when Loras turned he could just see the scowl on Renly’s face. “You don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“It’s you who doesn’t understand,” Loras told him. “I, I’ll do it for you, Renly. I’ll _stay_ with you.”

Renly’s expression softened. “Loras...” he said, something reluctant and unreadable lingering in his voice. Loras had to smile fondly. Finally Renly was starting to understand. As close as they were, it took only a tilt of his head for Loras to lean in towards Renly.

But Renly turned away, and Loras’ lips touched his bristly chin.

“ _Loras!_ ” he snapped.

The sharpness of his voice made Loras recoil. He’d never heard Renly sound so harsh, especially not when he was speaking to Loras. Even in the dim light his scowl was obvious.

Loras felt as if he’d been slapped awake. Everything he’d said in the past moments was catching up to him. What had he been thinking? The foolish thoughts had come over him like a madness, so quickly he couldn’t stop them, and now...

“Renly...” he whispered.

“Just - just go to sleep,” Renly told him.

Loras swallowed thickly and nodded. “Okay.”


	6. Chapter 6

It was the worst night Loras could remember. Even before laying down at Renly’s side, he’d decided that he would sleep very little and instead stay alert for any sign of danger that approached - but he could have been in the safest hold in the Seven Kingdoms and still he would not have found sleep that night. The things he’d said echoed over and over in his mind, made even more mortifying by the knowledge that Renly was silent but just as sleepless at his side, close enough that Loras could feel each breath he took.

The sun was starting to rise by the time Loras finally dozed off. It might have been minutes or hours later when the snap of a twig beneath a boot startled him awake, and he opened his eyes to find a leathered, wrinkled face peering down at him.

Dressed in peasant clothes and leaning on a weathered walking stick, the old woman posed no threat as she silently watched them, yet Loras still startled. He hissed at Renly to wake up and they arduously scrambled to their feet, Loras having to carefully push Renly upright and then drag him up without disturbing Renly’s injured arm. It was several long moments before they were properly righted. Renly nudged Loras with his elbow to remove Loras’ hands where they were still lingering at his waist.

The old woman was exactly where she had been, still watching them in silence, though there was a look of thinly concealed amusement on her face now.

“Fine morning, isn’t it?” Renly called to her.

“Aye, very fine,” she agreed.

Nothing else followed. At a loss, Renly half glanced at Loras before continuing.

“I hate to trouble you, but we seem to have lost our way. I’m Lord R-”

“I know who you are, Lord Renly,” the old woman said. “It would be hard to mistake those Baratheon looks. I saw your grandfather when he toured the Stormlands after his wedding, and your father as well when he was touring with his new bride.” She grinned, revealing several missing teeth, and her gaze flicked to Loras for a second. “I regret having missed your coming of age tour, but surely this is not your wedding tour already?”

Loras’ face reddened with anger and embarrassment, but Renly laughed and faked a smile as easily as he always could.

“Not quite yet, no. My squire and I were returning to Storm’s End after the king’s tournament and we’ve been separated from our travelling companions. Are we far from the nearest keep?”

“Lord Greyle’s keep is a few hours away, once you reach the edge of the forest.”

“Could you take us there?”

The old woman shrugged. “You can follow me, if you like.” Without anything more, she turned and continued on her way.

Loras caught Renly’s shoulder before he could follow after her. “Are you sure about this?” he asked quietly. Lord Greyle’s keep was where their party had been headed, and where Renly suspected they would go to retrieve the hunting hounds, but Loras was suspicious. The old woman reminded him too much of a peasant version of his own grandmother for him to be able to trust her.

“What else do you suggest we do?” Renly asked, “Wait around, and keep each other company as we hope to be found?” He moved to brush Loras’ hand away, but Loras dropped it first, irked by Renly’s sardonic tone of voice. “We’re better off making our own way to Lord Greyle’s keep if we can. You’ll have and lead Titan until we get out of the forest.”

“Renly-”

“Lead Titan, I said.”

Annoyed, Loras saddled Titan as quickly as he could and dragged the horse along. The old woman had already ambled off some distance and they had to hurry after her.

“My, what a handsome beast,” she said once they caught up. The toothless, self-satisfied grin appeared on her face again as she looked at Renly. “I was speaking of the horse, of course, though I’m sure you’re not half bad once you’re cleaned up.”

“You must excuse our states,” Renly laughed. “I was injured in the king’s tournament, and we were attacked by bandits in the woods.”

The old woman grunted. “Bandits. I’m not surprised. This forest is crawling with them. You see the state of the Stormlands, Lord Renly? Why, it was not two weeks past that my son was bringing the cart home from town when he was...”

She continued her ranting and Loras ignored her, instead glaring at Renly and his easy laughter. Loras could not help the way he felt for Renly, and he could not shake his anger at Renly’s blank dismissal of him. Yes, it had been sudden, for Loras as well, and perhaps he could have been a bit more tactful, but the rejection still hurt.

On some level, Loras had long been aware that what he felt for Renly was beyond mere friendship. He’d known at least where his preferences lie, but finding that Renly was of the same persuasion hadn’t immediately brought Loras’ true feelings for him to the surface; instead, Loras worried that his fondness for Renly would in turn lead to Loras becoming too comfortable with such preferences, and would then bring back everything that he’d worked so hard to ignore. It was only last night, pressed close and strained after days of confusion, that Loras realized just what he’d been ignoring.

He was angry (and embarrassed, though he’d not admit it) that Renly had denied him so bluntly. At first Renly had thought he was joking, or mocking, but when he realized Loras’ honesty he’d grown even more annoyed. Did Renly even believe him now? Renly was troubled, if the sleepless night had been any indication, and he clearly did not want to spend time alone with Loras. But was it because he was angry at the suggestion, or that he felt guilty for denying Loras what he wanted?

Renly had always been good at concealing his true feelings , so as they walked, he continued his friendly engagement with the old woman while she berated him on everything that should be done to improve the Stormlands. Surely the cautionary tales warning against following old women in the forest hadn’t even fathomed this one. She led them along a route that was by no means the shortest path, slowing them even further as she often paused to pick herbs that she tucked into her satchel, and Loras’ mood worsened with even complaint she made.

Finally the trees started to thin around them and they rejoined a forest path that led out to a small homestead. Men toiled in the surrounding fields and smoke rose from the chimney of a small house. It was to this house that the old woman took them.

“Daughter,” she said as she entered, “We have _visitors._ ”

A woman stirring a massive pot over the fire turned to inspect them and sighed in annoyance. “Who are these, then?” she asked as she looked Renly and Loras up and down, their rumpled, dirty clothing making their high rank less obvious than usual.

Renly stepped towards her. “Good morning. I’m Lord Renly-”

The woman shrieked and dropped into a sloppy curtsy that she seemed unable to come out of for several moments. Rolling her eyes, the old woman fetched two wooden bowls and filled them with the stew cooking in the pot over the fire, then laid them on the table. “Eat, m’lords, and you can be on your way.”

“We’re fine as we are,” Loras said at the time that Renly said, “Thank you,” and sat down to eat.

The vegetable stew was perhaps the most plain that Loras had ever tasted, yet once he started to eat he realized how hungry he actually was. It was not long before the bowl was empty and the old woman was back to refill it, leering at both of them.

“Not quite as close as when I found you?” she said. Loras had seated himself as far away from Renly as he could at the small wooden table, which the old woman had picked up on. Loras’ face went so red again that he hardly heard whatever joke Renly made with her, though once she’d left Renly turned to face Loras.

“I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you last night,” Renly said to him, smiling consolingly. “Let’s forget it, alright?”

Loras’ heart jumped to his throat. “You mean you’ve changed your mind?” he asked, but it only made Renly’s brow furrow.

“No, I mean forget all of it,” he said. “Put it behind us, and continue on as we were.”

If had been Loras been angry before, now he was fuming. He’d laid the truth out last night and Renly just wanted to pretend it didn’t happen?

“You can’t hold it against me for what I said,” Renly reasoned.

“Can’t I?” Loras snapped back. He didn’t want to push Renly away and yet his pride was too hurt to bow his head yet.

Renly was frowning back at him now, a very unfamiliar expression on his face, especially when he was looking at Loras. “It’s not’s like you’ve left me in a very comfortable position with this,” he said, which Loras knew was true, though right now he didn’t want to talk or think about what any of this might mean . He just wanted to be left alone for a while, to get away and figure it out without Renly stuck at his side all day as he had been and would continue to be for some time longer as they rode to Lord Greyle’s keep.

The old woman had offered them a second horse, an ugly thing that was skinny but seemed hardy enough. The rest of her family had come in from the fields to see their liege lord off and insisted that the horse was a gift to him, though Loras knew Renly would return the horse, along with gifts to thank the family for their help. It was just Renly’s way. Loras would take Titan as they rode to the keep, and while the family continued to fawn over Renly, Loras retreated to where Titan was tethered.

This time he took it as less of an offence when the horse pressed its wide nose against his shoulder in an affectionate gesture. He stroked the horse’s neck and watched its big, dark eyes, recalling how Titan had brought them into this. Loras could not regret having realized his feelings for Renly, even if Renly did not feel the same, and he could not regret telling Renly the truth, but he still felt conflicted about everything that had happened. Though Renly had not said it in as many words, it seemed to be the danger a longer, more involved relationship could bring that held him back from looking for more than just a brief affair. Loras understood that, but as he’d said last night, there was little to worry about with Loras. Perhaps the danger could never fully be ignored, but Loras would take that risk for Renly. Why didn’t Renly want to do the same for him?

* * *

 

The guards looked flabbergasted when Renly and Loras arrived at the gate. As it turned out, the travellers from Storm’s End were indeed at Lord Greyle’s keep with their small camp set up in the courtyard, and Renly’s return to them was like setting off an explosion. All of his knights clamoured around to see him and a young maid who had come with the household actually burst into tears. Several of them seemed to be pleased to see Loras as well, which was surprising considering that Loras rarely made an effort to speak to anyone but Renly and perhaps the master-at-arms, but by the time Renly regaled the tale of the bandits’ attack and had everyone hanging on each word, they all wanted to share a drink with Loras.

As soon as Lord Greyle got wind of their return, he was at the front of the throng surrounding Renly. Several times he made sure to tell Renly that a group of his men were out with hunting hounds and would follow the scent back here before nightfall. Lord Greyle was something of a lickspittle, Loras found, and was eager to gain as much audience with Renly as possible. It was likely for this reason that he insisted Renly take chambers in the keep for the night rather than stay with his knights and household, but what Lord Greyle didn’t realize was that before Renly would be interested in entertaining his company, he would retire to a _very_ long bath.

Even by the time Loras finished bathing himself, including removing all the mud tangled into his curls, Renly was still in the bath. Loras had little interested in waiting around for him, as he’d been eager to get out of Renly’s presence all day, but he also did not want to leave Renly to fend for himself with only the servants’ help. He rifled through a linen closet to find a couple suitable pillows so Renly could sleep comfortably with his arm, and retrieved Renly’s trunk himself. He was just laying out clothing for Renly to wear when Renly entered from the other room, wrapped in a towel and finally finished with his bath.

“You’re still here?” Renly asked him.

Loras’ reply was a scowl, and a firm mustering of willpower to stop his eyes from wandering down over Renly’s bare arms and chest. He’d seen Renly undressed countless times before and yet it was different now that he understood what it was he felt for Renly. His thoughts had been turbulent all day, drifting between all the little things that must have made him fall for Renly, and reminders to himself of just how angry he was that Renly had brushed him off without even considering the possibilities.

Something odd came over Renly as he looked at everything Loras had laid out on the bed, at the pillows arranged how Renly would need them later that evening and the brocade fabrics in Renly’s favorite shade of green. He glanced up at Loras with a smile, which Loras pointed looked away from.

“I’m impressed,” Renly told him, “My good taste really is rubbing off you.”

Loras gave a half-hearted shrug. He was not interested in their usual banter and instead pretended to be absorbed in arranging the blank parchment on the desk while Renly dressed. When he heard Renly moving around the room again, he risked another glance, but even then Renly was only in his smallclothes as he searched through his trunk. Renly took out a roll of shaving tools.

“I could really use a shave. Would you give me a hand?”

Grumbling and wishing to be anywhere else, Loras began preparing everything Renly would need. The water in the buckets the servants had brought up for their baths was still warm and Loras mixed the shaving lather and laid out the blade for Renly. Once it was ready, he did not look at Renly before he made to leave the room and finally get away.

“Loras,” Renly called to him before he could get through the door, “Won’t you help me?”

“Everything is ready,” Loras said. He waved at where he had prepared the tools and lather for Renly to shave with.

“Yes, but I can’t exactly shave myself like this.” Renly had not put his sling back on after the bath but he still held his arm gingerly, and it was nowhere near healed enough to allow Renly to shave himself as he usually did.

What Renly was implying, though, made Loras bristle. “I don’t want to _shave_ you.”

“Will you, though?” Renly asked, smiling knowingly.

Renly would have a hard time trying to shave with his off hand, but Loras might be even worse. He’d never shaved his own face before, and Renly had never asked Loras to assist him, as some knights did. Despite this and that Loras did not want to be so near Renly especially after that maddeningly inexplicable smile, he knelt at Renly’s side and let Renly guide him through the process.

His hand was surprisingly steady with the blade as he followed what Renly told him to do, concentrating on the methodical process of it. The same anger still simmered beneath Loras’ skin but he could feel Renly watching him as fondly as ever. Whatever had come over him, Renly’s earlier discomfort had vanished. He seemed relaxed, contented even. It was maddening, and yet Loras felt his own firm resolve turning precarious. With Renly’s bright blue eyes just visible at the edge of Loras’ gaze, Loras knew he could not look at Renly. Instead he concentrated only on the glide of the blade over Renly’s jaw.

But when Loras finished and sat back on his heels to admire his work, he made the mistake of meeting Renly’s eyes. It never failed to surprise Loras how blue they really were, and he was more surprised still at the way Renly was looking at him, like he was pleased just to have Loras there and nothing else mattered. Renly smiled, the easy grin that lit up his face and seemed all the brighter when it was directed at Loras.

Loras wanted to look away, but it was too late. All the fight went out of him at the sight of that smile and he sighed dejectedly as he laid his head on Renly’s knee.

“I’m sorry, Renly,” he mumbled.

“It’s alright,” Renly told him, stroking his hair. “You don’t have to be sorry. That was just a lot to spring on a person at once, is all.”

Loras sighed again. “You don’t believe me.”

“I do know you love me. But, you’re at an age where it’s very easy to mistake admiration, or friendship for a very different type of love all together.”

“I’m not just a dumb child, you know.”

“I’ve never thought you were. There’s been a lot for you to take in lately, though, and it may just be that you don’t like that you can’t be a part of that area of my life.”

“It’s not that,” Loras insisted. “I admit I was - jealous, yes, but it was more than that. I meant everything I said yesterday.”

“Loras...” Renly said slowly, considering, as he toyed with one of Loras’ curls. His fingers stroked through Loras’ hair and it was a long while before he spoke. “You care for me far beyond what you must, and I’m very thankful for it. Truly, I am. But I could not ask you to do something like that. You don’t need to force yourself to feel-”

“You’re not the first, you know,” Loras said.

Renly’s fingers stilled in Loras’ hair. “Enlighten me then,” he said.

Biting his lip, Loras sat back to look at Renly again. He was not very good with explaining things or telling stories, and this one was on a particularly tricky subject. “You mustn’t laugh.”

“I won’t,” Renly agreed, which was really more of an ‘I’ll try’ when it came from Renly, but Loras continued with his story.

“Do you remember at the ball, after the first day of the tournament? There were those two singers? A man and a woman, Jon and Jeyne of Elsewhere. They were at Highgarden for a time when I was a child, and Margaery and I were more than a little infatuated with them.” Loras sighed. “I was seven, Margaery must have been five or six. And we thought that with two of them, and two of us, it only made sense that we’d grow up to marry them one day.”

“It always seems so straightforward when you’re a child,” Renly said amusedly.

“Margaery would make up stories for us, about our weddings, and where we would live, and the adventures we would have. One day she was telling me a story about Jeyne and I, about how we would live in a castle by the sea and I would take her in my arms and kiss her as the sun set. Or something like that - Margaery was very inventive with her stories. But picturing it then, I realized for the first time that it was not Jeyne I’d always been imagining myself with, but Jon.”

Loras risked another glance at Renly. Though he looked surprised, Renly was smiling, charmed by the childhood sweetness. “Jon or Jeyne, you really could have picked someone closer to your own age,” he said.

Loras shrugged. “I was only a child. I didn’t think it was strange, that he was so much older than me or that he was a man. He was the most handsome man I’d ever seen, and I loved him, and that’s all there was to it.”

Half a laugh burst forth from Renly before he stifled it. “I’m sorry, Loras, I’m not laughing at you. It’s just sweet, the way children see these things.”

“It _was_ sweet. Until one day, on my way to the kitchens, I stumbled upon him - him - _fucking_ a kitchen girl.”

Renly did laugh at that, sounding somewhat horrified, though Loras had to join him. “I haven’t thought about that in years,” he said, “I was too young to know what they were doing at the time and I’ve only just realized it now.”

“What did you do?”

“I left before they noticed me. Even though I didn’t understand what was happening, I knew I was very upset by it, and deeply offended. It was okay when it was Margaery I imagined marrying him, but I couldn’t stand it to be anyone else. That very moment I swore I would never love again.”

“Such heartbreak so young,” Renly said consolingly. “Perhaps you should have also sworn to start knocking before you enter a room though?”

“It wasn’t my fault! Then, or with you!” Loras protested, making Renly laugh.

“I know, I know. I do understand your meaning with this, but like you said, you were only a child then. As for me, when I was five years old I was determined to marry my nursemaid.” Renly smiled at Loras. “Obviously that’s not something that held up once I was old enough to understand it better.”

Loras huffed. “Would you be quiet and let me continue then?”

“There’s more?” Renly asked, raising his eyebrows as Loras nodded. “Go on.”

“As I got older, I came to realize that there was more to what loving a man might mean. It’s not easy, is it? Even then I understood that it was not exactly smiled upon. I didn’t think it was wrong, but I didn’t want that for myself. I wanted people to look and me and see nothing but a true knight, who rescued maidens and triumphed over evil, and I would not give that up for anything. The solution was clear. I already wanted to join the Kingsguard then, so I knew I would never have to take a wife. I decided I would just ignore anything I felt like that.”

“Did it work?” Renly asked sceptically, as if he knew the futility of the sentiment.

“For a time,” Loras admitted. “Not as well as I’d hoped, and only up until I was nearly ten, when my uncle had this squire who I just desperately wanted to kiss. So I threw myself into training instead. Whenever I wanted to kiss him, I’d stay and practice that much longer, until I wasn’t thinking about it anymore. It worked. It was easier than I thought when I just kept my other goals in mind. I forgot all about him, and learned to not feel anything like that anymore.”

Loras was not sure when he had turned to stare down at his own hands and it felt like he had been speaking for a very long time. When he looked up, he was relieved to find nothing resembling doubt or scepticism on Renly’s face.

“So you see?” Loras said. “I’m not just mistaking these feelings for you. Maybe I was a little slow because I had ignored it for so long. But just because I didn’t realize what it meant before yesterday doesn’t mean I didn’t feel it.”

Still Renly said nothing. He turned away to rise from the chair, but Loras moved closer to stop him. “Well?” he prompted.

“What do you want me to tell you?” Renly asked. “You just said you didn’t want to feel anything like that. Don’t you want to forget about me as well?”

“No! No, Renly, of course I don’t!” Loras nearly shouted, because how could Renly interpret it like _that?_

“What’s changed, then? There are the same risks.”

Loras shook his head determinedly. “No, Renly. I don’t care about those things anymore. Not if I could be with _you._ ”

“Loras...” Renly was finally looking at Loras like he truly understood. Loras could feel himself trembling. Unthinking, he leaned in towards Renly, but again Renly drew back before Loras could kiss him.

“What’s the matter? Don’t you want me?” Loras pouted.

A great weariness had come to Renly’s face. “I do love you, Loras,” he said.

“Then kiss me?” Loras asked.

Renly shook his head and stepped around Loras to rise from the chair. He crossed over to the window on the far wall and looked out, his back to Loras. “I can’t.”

Again Loras felt the pang of hurt and anger at being so bluntly refused. “Why?” he demanded, “Because I’m a dumb kid who you can say is like your brother, but then tell him you love him because he’s too young to understand what it means?”

“How many times must I tell you, I’ve never thought of you like that,” Renly said, growing frustrated, “And it’s different. By love - I do mean that, Loras, I do see you like a brother.”

Renly sighed as he leaned his head against the edge of the window. It sounded almost pained. Loras suddenly felt guilty, realizing he had caused this to Renly, pushing him and making him feel that what he felt for Loras wasn’t enough.

Renly didn’t look over at him as he approached, though Loras was surprised when Renly reached for his hand and threaded their fingers together.

“There’s nothing more to it?” Loras asked, still hopeful.

“Loras... You’re not wrong to worry about what others might think of you if they discovered what you felt. I’m no knight in shining armor myself, though I have a reputation I must uphold, and I’ll take a wife one day whether I wish it or not. I told you that I cannot allow myself more than a brief affair. It _must_ stay something brief, and since it must eventually end, I don’t want to get carried away and let myself believe otherwise.” The sentiment was left unfinished, trailing off with an unspoken ‘ _but_ ’.

“But this is different,” Loras supplied.

“It is different,” Renly agreed. He turned away from the window to look down at their joined hands. “You, Loras... you stay with me. As a squire, yes, but it’s more than that, is it not? It’s not just a duty anymore. You’re my friend, as well. You’re the first person I’ve had who has stayed with me for that, stayed just because you care. I can’t ruin that.”

“It won’t ruin anything. It will make it better.”

Renly turned Loras’ hand over in his own, studying the roughened skin. His thumb stroked Loras’ palm for a while before Renly linked their fingers together again.

“Love... I don’t know if I can call it that yet, at least not how you want it to be,” he said quietly.

Hope flickered in Loras’ chest again. “You said ‘yet’. Do you really think you could love me one day?”

Smiling, Renly nodded. “I hope so. I want you to be happy if you stay with me.”

Loras shook his head. “Are you a complete idiot?” he asked Renly.

Shocked, Renly glanced up at him and Loras almost laughed at the dumbfounded look on his face. It was true that what Loras wanted was more than what Renly was able to give him at this point, and that it would be hard to be without now that Loras had seen the chance for it. Renly had been his friend first, though. Loras had given up his intention of being the youngest ever member of the Kingsguard, and happily so that he could stay with Renly as his first friend. He’d done that without the hope that Renly would one day return his affections, and still he felt the same way.

“I don’t need a reason to stay,” he explained to Renly. “You don’t have to love me. Let it come in time, and if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. I may have been - difficult before, but I still want to stay with you no matter what.”

“Do you really mean that?” Renly asked breathlessly, and Loras nodded.

For a moment Renly’s grip on his hand tightened, and then Renly dropped it and dragged Loras into a fierce hug. Laughing, Loras tried to get his arms around Renly to return it but he could hardly move with the way Renly was holding Loras as close as he possibly could, strong even with just one good arm. It felt good to have Renly as cheerful as always, but even still...

“Renly... you’re crushing me...” Loras mumbled against his chest.

Renly released him and laughed. “Sorry. Just making sure you follow through with that,” he joked.

“You don’t have to smother me to do it. I want to stay with you.” Certain thoughts had been creeping up on Loras lately, and though he’d tried to ignore those as well, he could not deny how strongly he felt them. “Sometimes I think I would rather stay at Storm’s End with you than leave to go join the Kingsguard,” he confessed.

“Well...” Renly started awkwardly, “It turns out you wouldn’t have to give that up, because I’m going to King’s Landing as well. Permanently. Robert asked me to - well, told me I was going to take a seat on the Small Council. I’ve delayed it as long as I could, but I’ll be leaving back to King’s Landing in only a few months.”

The news made Loras’ heart sink. While the frequent sporting opportunities and events in the capital appealed to Loras, he knew Renly did not feel the same. King’s Landing had never been his favourite place to be. Renly enjoyed the tournaments and feasts but was always eager to leave the other elements of court life there. It was no wonder Renly had been so morose in the past months if this had been weighing on him.

“I don’t want to go,” Renly told Loras, “I don’t want to leave Storm’s End, and I hate King’s Landing. The position will be fine, I’m sure, and I know enough to get by as Master of Laws. But it’s going to be awful living there, dealing with Robert and having Stannis breathing down my neck all the time. I’ll have you with me for a while at least, but you’ll be knighted soon enough...”

As frustrated as Renly sounded, Loras smiled at him. “What did I just tell you Renly?”

“That you’ll stay,” Renly asked hesitantly. “Really Loras? Even then?”

“Even then.”

Renly finally smiled back at him, looking relieved. “I should have told you about this months ago, shouldn’t I?”

“You really should have. Saved yourself all that worrying, at least.”

The hug that Renly pulled him into was softer this time, more tender, and Loras leaned his head against Renly’s chest. He could hear the gentle thrum of Renly’s heart. It was all too easy to close his eyes and imagine just for a moment that Renly was holding him like a lover would.

What Renly told him wasn’t a rejection, and yet Loras could not help but feel a little sad. A day ago it had not even crossed his mind to want more than friendship from Renly. Now he wanted to kiss Renly and never stop, to touch his face and hair and feel Renly melt against him in passion, or for him to tell Loras just how much he loved him in return. That, he supposed, had just happened. Renly loved him dearly even if it was not exactly in the way Loras desired, and being his friend had not lost its charm. Loras still cared for Renly more than he could ever say. He knew he would be happy with Renly, whatever Renly felt in return for him.

“You’ll have to give me time,” Renly said when he drew away from Loras, smiling.

“Of course,” Loras agreed.

Suddenly nervous, Renly but his lip and pushed his hand back through his hair. “I can’t explain what it is, but truly, Loras, when you say you’ll stay, I believe you. You’ve never given me any reason to doubt it, but it was today that it really hit me, seeing how you looked after me even though you were so cross with me. You’ve always done that. I would not have said it was in your nature to be so tender yet you’ve proved it to me time and time again. And in this as well, it’s not only because you’re my squire and it’s what you must do. You do it, even though it’s hard. The feeling of that... it planted the thought that maybe...”

“You could love me?” Loras asked hopefully.

“It will be hard not to,” Renly said again.

Loras grinned and nodded. It was not a madness that came over him this time, but a great fondness, and Loras raised himself onto his toes to press his lips against Renly’s. Renly did not turn or pull away; he tilted his head gently and leaned into it, and tugged Loras close enough to feel the warmth from his body. The songs had never done this moment justice, Loras thought in a daze, and he could not keep the smile off his face when they parted. Renly was smiling back at him.

“You must give me time,” Renly said again.

Loras laughed. “Whatever you want, Renly. I’ll be your friend, I’ll be your lover - as long as we’re together, we’ll make it work,” he said, and meant it.

 

-END-


End file.
